Breaking Up is Hard to Do
by joshsgrl
Summary: Short drabble, I had to write after watching tonight's episode.  SPOILERS, so if you haven't watched don't read. I don't own anything, so don't sue me.  Now 2 parts, added Rachel POV
1. Chapter 1

I sit in Glee, slumped low in my chair; I'm not listening to anything they're saying. All I can see is Rachel, all I can see is that my name no longer rests against the chest. My heart aches, I can't believe she broke my heart. I can't believe she cheated on me with Puck, of all people, she had to know how much that would hurt me. I wonder if she ever cared about me at all. I can't believe we're not together, I was sure we were going to be together forever, she was my world now I don't know where I belong.

We should be celebrating our win, if you can even call a tie a win. But we get to move on to regionals so that's something. Everyone looks so happy, well everyone except for Rachel. Part of me wants to go over and wrap my arms around her, comfort her and tell her that it will all be okay. Then I remember that she's responsible for this pain.

Why do sectionals have to suck so much, I wonder.

"Finn." I hear a soft voice next to me. I look up to see Quinn standing over me.

"Hey." I mumble.

"You OK?" she asks.

"Not really." I say, trying to offer her a smile.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really." I repeat.

"She loves you. You know."

"I doubt it." I say bitterly.

"It may not seem like it right now, but she does."

"Why him?" I ask her, feeling the tears starting to gather behind my eyes. "Why is it always him?"

"Finn, he's not the same guy he was last year. He stopped her, he knew she only wanted to be with him because she knew it was the best way to hurt you."

"Well it worked." I sulk.

"So you guys are done then? You're just going to give up on her?" she asks.

"Yup."

"Then you're a bigger idiot than I thought. You both are. If I ever find a love like yours, I'm going to do whatever I can to hang onto it. Even if it means forgiving him for breaking my heart."

"It's too late."

"No, it's not. Talk to her, work this out."

"How do you know?"

"Because, she's all you see. She's all you've ever seen since she came into your life."

"Quinn." I say softly.

"It's alright, I'm over it. I knew it was only a matter of time, we were never meant to last, you and I. Things changed with us, when Rachel entered the picture. I tried so hard to hang onto you, it's why I slept with Puck. I wanted to feel special. I saw how you looked at her, you never looked at me like that. I didn't see what she had that I didn't, what made her so special. I see it now though, she has your heart."

I just look at Quinn and swallow the lump in my throat.

She smiles sadly at me, resting her hand on my shoulder. "I know she's hurt you, but she was hurting too."

I look at Rachel, she's just staring at the wall.

"Why does this have to be so hard? Why can't love be like it is in the movies?"

"Because the movies aren't real Finn. Real love takes work, hard work. Stop punishing her and yourself. Go get her, go be happy."

"When did you get so smart?" I ask her.

"I've always been smart, but having Beth changed me. Giving her up changed me more."

I feel Rachel's eyes on me, watching as Quinn try's comfort me. I look up into her sad brown eyes and give her a lop sided smile.

She flashes a soft, smile my way. I think maybe Quinn is right, maybe we can work this out.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok for some reason I woke up this morning and this was in my brain. Last night's episode has left me a total wreck, I just can't shake the uneasy feeling in my stomach. I had to get this down before I lost it.

As always, I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do - Part Two

Rachel's POV

It's been a week and there's been nothing. No phones calls, no texts, no talking, nothing. I guess I have no choice but to accept it's really over.

Looking over I see the pink bear he won for me at the fair a few weeks ago, and my vision goes blurry for the hundredth time as I remember this is all my fault. I broke us, sure what he did was bad but we could have gotten past it, we almost were. But what I did was so much worse, I see that now. Kissing Noah to make Finn jealous was stupid. I cheated on the one person I love, the one person who makes me whole.

Everywhere I look in my room there are reminders of him, I can't take it anymore. I run down to the basement in search of a box to put it all in. There's his football jersey, pictures, CD's, his History textbook. I smile, thinking how cute I find it that he can't seem to remember he's taking that class. I toss the pink bear into the full box and before I change my mind I carry it out to my car, slipping behind the wheel I wipe my eyes one more time before driving over there.

Nervously I stand on the doorstep waiting for someone to answer. The door opens and it's his mom.

"Hello Mrs. Hummel" I say sadly remembering Finn is the only Hudson left now.

"Sweetheart, how many times have I told you call me Carole."

"I know, but I wasn't sure how appropriate that was given Finn and I broke up." I practically wail the last few words.

"Oh, honey." she says sympathetically, pulling me into a warm motherly hug.

I just wrap my arms around her and sob. She rubs my back soothingly telling me it will all be okay.

After a few minutes I manage to get myself back under control. "I just love him so much, and I screwed everything up."

"He'll come around, I know how much he loves you. He's upstairs if you want to go talk to him." she says encouragingly.

I just nod and pick up the box that's on the steps beside me. I slowly climb the stairs up to his room. I stand outside and can hear music playing through the door. I knock quickly before I lose my nerve.

"Come in." he calls, he sounds so sad.

I open the door slowly, he's laying on his bed with his pillow over his head. The song on his stereo starts again, I recognize it. It's Gavin Rossdale's Love Remains the same, he has it on repeat.

"Hey." I say softly, willing myself not to cry in front of him, even though I probably look like a mess. I suddenly realize I'm in sweatpants and a ratty old tee shirt, I don't think I even brushed my hair today.

He slowly pulls the pillow from his face. Looking at me, I can see the pain in his eyes. "What do you want?" he asks angrily.

"I, uh, you left some stuff at my house. I thought you might want it back." I say placing the box on his desk.

He glances at it briefly before picking up the remote for his stereo changing songs to Linkin Park's Waiting for the End. He flops back onto his bed ignoring me.

I just stand there waiting for him to say something, anything.

"I'm trying really hard to hate you." he says finally looking away from me.

"I don't blame you." I say "I hate me right now so it's only fair."

"Why'd you do it?" he asks.

"I wanted to hurt you. I was furious. You slept with Santana and you kept it from me for all those months. I know we weren't together at the time but it still hurt to hear the truth, to find out I was the last one to know. I was so embarased. I told you the truth about not doing it with Jesse and you still kept it from me." I sigh. "I know that kissing Noah was thousand times worse than you sleeping with Santana because we weren't together when you did it. For what it's worth I'm sorry, I'd do anything to make up for it."

"I know." he says finally turning his head to look at me.

"I'll always love you." I tell him honestly.

"Me too."

He moves off his bed, wandering to his desk he looks in the box I placed there. His fingers grasp the pink bear, tightly. He pulls it out of the box and as he does the jewelry box with my necklace in it falls out. He bends down to pick it up, looking at me when he realizes what it is.

"Rachel, no. I can't take this." he says looking at me.

"Yes you can." I say tears spilling from my eyes again. "It was expensive, you should keep it."

"But, it's yours. I had it made for you." I can see the love in his eyes behind his own tears. "You should keep it."

"Finn I can't it's too painful. It only reminds me of what I've lost."

He sighs, staring at the small blue box in his hand.

"Why do we keep hurting each other like this?" he asks.

"I don't know. I wish I could rewind and not kiss Noah." I say, watching his jaw tighten as I do. "I felt nothing, as soon as my lips touched his I knew it wasn't right. I was just so hurt and upset, and jealous. I wasn't thinking clearly."

He laughs bitterly at my comment. "I know the feeling, it meant nothing with Santana. I felt dirty and used. I was so messed up back then, and seeing you with him, hearing you say you were ready to do it with him, I went crazy. It should have been you and I. I should have waited."

It's my turn to laugh bitterly. "Funny how things work out."

"What does that mean?" he asks.

I walk over to sit on his bed. Looking up at him as he stands there playing with the jewelry box in his hands.

"It means, now that I am finally ready to do it with you, or was; it doesn't matter because we're over, so now I'll never know what it's like."

He comes to sit next to me on his bed, careful not to touch me. He looks a little shocked by my admission.

"You we're ready?" he asks. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I was waiting for the right time. I was going to tell you after we won sectionals. My Dad's were going out of town for the weekend. I had this whole big plan, now it's... Now it doesn't matter. It's too late. You'll never forgive me."

"I want to forgive you. So many times I've picked up my phone to call I just didn't know what to say." his hand comes to rest softly on my knee.

"Can we try again?" I ask resting my head on his shoulder. "Can we start over, no more lies, nothing hanging between us?" I'm hopeful he'll say yes.

"We don't have to pick up where we left off, we can go slow. Finn I miss you, I miss not having you on my life." I'm rambling now.

"I'd like that." he says lifting his head to smile at me.

"Really?"

"Really, I love you and I miss you. Being without you sucks."

"Oh Finn I love you too, so much. You won't regret this." I hug him, breathing in his scent. This time it's tears of happiness in my eyes.

He hugs me back, pulling away he tucks my hair behind my ear.

"You can kiss me if you want to." I say smiling softly.

"I want to." he replies.

My eyes slip closed and I run my tongue over my lips as his lips move closer to mine.

He presses a soft kiss to my lips, and I sigh happily feeling the butterflies dance in my stomach once again.


End file.
